There’s nothing quite like having a brother – except, perhaps, having two. There are very few similarities I could draw between my life and the young Princess Charlotte’s but one thing we do have in common is that we are both sandwiched between two boys.
While none of my siblings or I could ever ascend to the throne, there are some family dynamics that ring true whether you’re a royal or not. So, as Charlotte turns 10 tomorrow, here are some nuggets of wisdom I can share about growing up with brothers.
1. Older brothers can be overbearing – but they mean well.
It’s difficult to remember this when they’re bossing you around, but most of the time, they'’re strident because they are trying to teach you something. As the firstborns, they are the tester babies – the guinea pigs – and just as your parents were trying out different parenting techniques with them, they don’t have a rule book for being an older sibling, either. Coming first, they also have a lot of expectations riding on them (and Prince George, more so than most.)
Parenting expert Kirsty Ketley suggests that in these situations, teaching younger children phrases like, “I can decide that for myself,” or “I’d like to do it my way” gives siblings tools to assert themselves kindly but confidently.
2. Being a role model is important, but so is being silly with your siblings.
Kirsty also suggests that while girls are praised for being ‘well-behaved’ or ‘good’, boys are given leeway to be loud and silly. But silliness isn’t a flaw – it’s actually a vital way to explore different sides of your personality and prevent pressure and perfectionism building up.
Princess Charlotte appears to watch over her cheeky little brother, Prince Louis, often telling him how to behave at royal events. I was exactly the same. In fact, just a few months ago I reprimanded my younger brother for being rude, and he pointed out that he was now 23, and I was his sister, not his mother, so should stop attempting to parent him. It was a liberating moment for me and we are closer for it.
3. They might seem alien to you now, but there’s always common ground to be found.
It’s baffling that three people raised by the same parents can be so different. According to their nanny, the three young Windsors have very different temperaments; Charlotte is a keen reader, George favours building blocks and Louis loves cuddly toys.
My own brothers love cooking. One became a chef and the other practically lives in the kitchen. Sometimes, it feels like a secret language I can’t be part of, like when they played Xbox or talked about football – neither of which I do. While feeling left out used to frustrate me, I learnt that you can be involved even if you approach things differently. Now, I send pictures of what I’ve cooked and share recipes I’ve found, and enjoy watching the odd match for the camaraderie... providing they explain the rules.
4. Your parents aren’t playing favourites – you all hold a different spot in their heart.
Sometimes, it can feel like one sibling has more of the spotlight. When I was three, my parents brought home my baby brother. I was thrilled – here was my very own real life doll to play with – until I saw the attention and affection he was getting. Reportedly, I threw myself of the bed declaring ‘Mummy and Daddy just don’t love me anymore.’ (I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.)
While I don’t throw tantrums any more, the green-eyed monster still makes the occasional appearance and I have to remind myself that I have something my brothers don’t: I am the only girl. While the firstborn has expectations and the youngest gets away with murder, I want Princess Charlotte to know that being the only girl is a very special relationship to have with your parents.
5. Going to the same school can make ‘Big School’ so much easier
Prince George is due to start secondary school soon, and – while we don’t know which school he’ll attend – the Prince and Princess of Wales have suggested that they’d like to keep their children together for this next step in their education. This is a wise idea. I went a different school to my older, much smarter, brother, which made leaving primary school daunting; I was envious of my friends who had siblings in the years above. But when my younger brother joined my school, I walked in with him on his first day and though he’d never admit it – I know it helped having a familiar face around.
6. Teenage boys should be avoided from the age of 13 to 16.
While I assume Princes George and Louis will have better manners than my brothers ever did, one thing is unavoidable no matter which family you grow up in – teenagers are hard work.
As parenting expert Kirsty Ketley says: ‘The teen years are full of change; physically, emotionally and socially, which makes sibling clashes much more common. At this stage, space and boundaries are key.’
One day, your sweet, silly sidekick is replaced by Kevin the Teenager who acts as though being seen with you in public is a criminal offence. But that sweet, kind little boy? He’ll be back. Usually around 17, with a much deeper voice and a few extra inches!
7. Having brothers prepares you for the big bad world in a way nothing else can.
Princess Charlotte may be trained in languages and formal etiquette, but nothing prepares you for life quite like being a sister of brothers.
‘Being the middle sister between two brothers can come with unique perks,’ says Kirsty. ‘It can teach children how to be more flexible – middle children often become great mediators and emotionally intelligent communicators,’ she says.
From squabbles over food to full-blown dinner-table debates, brothers teach you how to debate and stay calm under pressure. They challenge you, tease you, test your patience – and, yes, they humble you. And that really is a gift.
