We’ve all heard of couples signing pre-nuptial agreements to protect their finances before making a life together, but how about a ‘pet-nuptial’? Deciding who gets custody of a much-loved pet in the event that a relationship breaks down can be a huge source of contention during an already difficult time, and having an agreement in place could minimise the heartache and disruption all round.
High-profile battles over pets are never far from the headlines. TV presenter Ant McPartlin and his ex-wife Lisa Armstrong had a long-running and acrimonious battle about who got custody of their chocolate labrador Hurley when they split in 2018, and rumours are currently circulating about discussions between divorcing couple Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes over who gets their collie cross Maggie.
Rather than spend thousands of pounds on a lengthy legal battle, couples fighting over their pets during a divorce might be better off avoiding court and instead reach agreement in mediation or allow an arbitrator to decide the fate of their pet.
Jo Wescott, managing partner at Osbornes Law, says she has seen costs in divorce cases spiral in the past when pets were involved, but this can be avoided if couples choose arbitration.
She said: “Cases of couples fighting over their pets are on the rise and I’ve recently seen a case when emotions ran high over the family dogs which consequently inflated legal costs. This is because deciding who gets to keep the family pet issue is emotive, for some people their pets are their children.
“However, the issue in the UK is that pets are seen by the court as a chattel – so the same as a television or dining table – and the welfare of the animal is not considered."
Other countries around the world have changed the laws around pet custody in recent years to take into account their welfare. In Spain pets are recognised as ‘sentient beings’ after animal welfare law was brought in, while France brought in legislation that changes the definition of animals from ‘moveable goods’ to ‘living and feeling beings’.
Jo added: “I think the UK courts should follow other jurisdictions and adopt a welfare approach for animals in divorce cases. People going through a breakup struggle to comprehend that the court view pets purely as property when they mean so much more to them than a sofa or a microwave. It is only right that the emotion attached to pets and the fact that they are living creatures is taken into account.
Now Amicable, the legal service for separating couples, has launched a 'Co-Petting Agreement’ so that couples can plan what happens to their pets should the relationship break down.
The ‘Co-Petting Agreement’ includes a 30-minute session with an Amicable expert to discuss and document co-petting arrangements, as well as a comprehensive co-petting guide to assist both parties to come to an agreement on co-petting arrangements after a break-up.
Amicable already runs a 'Separating with Pets' advice consultation service which is a 90-minute session with an experienced separation specialist.
Whether or not couples decide to go ahead with a formal 'pet pre-nup', or just hope that both parties will be able to come to a reasonable solution if the time comes, it's good to know how to look after pets in the event of a break-up, so here's some advice from the experts.
What is the impact on dogs and other pets in the event of a split?
"When a couple are splitting, often the atmosphere can be charged as relations break down," says Jo Sellers, a certified separation anxiety specialist at Pippin Pets Dog Training. "They can smell the change of our stress hormones in us, and as their hearing is super, any raised voices can upset them. When one of us moves out, it is a huge life change for our dogs and pets, and many struggle to adjust to changes, even more so if we have to move house, too."
She adds: "Their behaviour may seem to deteriorate as everyone goes through a period of change, so trying to keep to their routine can go some way to help them have predictability in their lives."
"Behavioural issues are commonly experienced by pets following their owner's separation," says Kate Daly, relationship counsellor and co-founder of Amicable. "Behavioural challenges can force owners to rehome their pets or surrender them to an animal charity as a last resort."
Are some animals more prone to being affected by a split than others?
"How a separation impacts a pet varies across species and animals, with some pets being more tolerant to a change in their environment than others," says Kate. "Small pets, such as hamsters, are more flexible when it comes to changes in their environment – for example, only living with one owner rather than both, or being shared between two homes. However, it's important to remember that long transportation periods (car rides) can easily cause stress, so this should be carefully considered when exploring different arrangements and options."
Other species, such as dogs, thrive on routine and may struggle if there is upheaval to their daily structure following a separation, she adds. "Similarly, cats are territorial and become accustomed to their home environment. It's, therefore, important to consult an animal behaviourist or your local vet, who will be able to give you guidance and advice on the different options that may work best for your pet."
It can be quite challenging for a dog to live across two homes, especially if they are being transferred every few days, says Jo Sellers. "Most dogs do better with routines and predictors, and therefore constant change can be disruptive to them, while roaming pets such as cats can find it immensely difficult to keep switching homes as they are territorial. Being in one permanent home will certainly be easier.
"With regards to visitation rights, it may depend on how the humans are getting on, and if they are both on the same page with issues such as behaviour training, food and medical treatments.
What can owners do to lessen the impact of a split?
So that your dog is less worried, try not to have shouting in the home, advises Jo Sellers of Pippin Pets Dog Training. "I find that my dog shakes if I even raise my voice, so it has made me be much calmer in my human interactions. Emotions are running riot in the event of a breakdown of a relationship, but being mindful to your sensitive pets can help us moderate our behaviour and even communicate better."
When it comes to who has the dog, ideally the dog stays in the same house they are already in, says Jo, "but really the person who will be around most, will be the primary caregiver and able to meet the needs of the pet should get priority. Keeping the routine is much easier even if it results in a house move for the dog."
Kate from Amicable adds: "Being able to agree on a plan that prioritises your pet's needs and is realistic, given your new life circumstances, such as home and work commitments, will give you and your pet the best chance at thriving post-separation."
How legally-binding is a 'co-petting agreement? What happens if one party decides to ignore it?
"Our 'Co-petting Agreement' is legally binding because it's a contract documenting an agreement between a couple," says Kate from amicable. "However, it's not automatically enforceable. This means that it can be used as evidence in court proceedings should an issue arise to illustrate the intention of the pet owner, but it cannot be automatically enforced by a court."
"Strictly speaking, pets are viewed as 'chattel', so this means the person who originally purchased the pet is the legal owner unless this has been changed during negotiations. There are limited judgements in the UK courts and other legal jurisdictions have used a ‘best interest of the pet’ test which has been advocated by animal welfare groups."
'My own experience means that I'd highly recommend a pet pre-nup'
"When my long-term partner and I ended our relationship, we decided to share our beloved dog, Bramble," says Zita Wells, award-winning dog walker and founder of Pet Patrol 365.
"Although she was primarily considered 'my' dog, we welcomed her into our lives together and played integral roles in her care. For years, we shared financial responsibilities and devoted time to her well-being. Even after my partner relocated overseas, he stayed involved through updates and visits whenever he returned to the UK.
"Despite not formalising a contract, my experience has led me to highly recommend others consider signing a pet pre-nup or similar agreement. Such contracts prioritise the pet’s well-being and can improve relationships with ex-partners. Avoiding custody battles is crucial, as pets can experience undue stress and confusion. Consistency in care and routine is essential for their well-being. By taking a practical approach and considering both parties' emotional attachment and the pet's needs, the situation can become less contentious."
